Back on the Wagon

It’s never been so hard for me to stick with a fast as it has been here, living with family.  I’m obligated to join family for dinners out and in, and to partake in cake and ice cream, etc.  My sister’s birthday is actually tomorrow, but I’m starting a fast today, anyhow.  I don’t feel like myself at all, and I’m ready to feel renewed and clear-headed.  With that in mind, I’m beginning a fast today without any plans for it to last a certain duration.  (I usually find it’s better to see how it goes and see how I feel when fasting, then break it when it feels right.  I tend to fast longer if I do this than if I have a desired length of time I’d like to shoot for.)  So, today begins an unorthodox fast (for me, at least).  I’ll eat up the fresh produce I have in stock so it doesn’t go bad, using it for one to two raw or steamed meals/day.  Otherwise, I’ll juice, drink lemon water, and flush with diluted apple cider vinegar. I’m guessing it will take me about 8 days to feel better, but I’ll see how it goes.  I have dinner plans early next week, so I’m hopeful that won’t throw a wrench in the fast if things go well.  The most difficult aspect of fasting, in my experience, isn’t the hunger, but the social constraints. With every fast, I realize how much we rely on food for socializing, and how we’re judged on/by what we consume.

Day Two

This is the most dangerous time of the day (late night), when I get hungry.  I could easily juice all day with little effort or self-control, but nighttime finds me ravenous.  

This morning, I drank some apple-cucumber-zuchinni-carrot juice, which was tasty, then had a veggie juice before yoga.  I threw in the vegetables I’d normally eat as crudite or in a salad: cucumber, carrot, greens, red pepper, and a red onion.  The pepper and the onion gave it delicious zing.  

Tonight, I’m eating a raw meal (crudite: cukes, carrot, broccoli, calamata olives, tomato, and kimchee) b/c I’m famished after yoga and have felt lethargic all day.  Actually, I’ve felt this malaise for a few months now and am wondering if there’s something else at work, medically, that’s making me feel this way.  I’m hoping the fast will renew my energy/vitality, as it typically does.

End of Day One

I came home from yoga feeling exhilarated but famished, as usual. I juiced a cucumber and a few slices of watermelon (knowing that one “shouldn’t” mix melon with any other fruit/veg, so say the experts). Drank it, felt sated, but got hungry around 9:15. Watched my family eat mocha chip ice cream, so I ate a raw dinner I’d sliced up for myself early yesterday afternoon. I didn’t want it to go to waste (raised on depression era values) and, besides, it’s best to transistion gradually into a fasted state. Yes, they’re excuses, but it’s the truth. I tend to go to extremes (which is probably why I like fasting in the first place), so it’s important for me to remember that transition is necessary and far healthier than plunging in head first. At least, it is when fasting. Today was an initial test of will, and I did okay. Tomorrow, it’s full-throttle fasting, no excuses. I’m armed with my fruit, veg, juicer, and iron-strength will.

Day 1, Afternoon

Woke up late (lazy, lethargic after insomniac night), picked up the juicer, and made myself some beet-apple-cucumber juice.  Yum.  No, seriously, it’s good.  It also makes my lips look like they’re slathered in sexy red lipstick. Totally hot. I wish Revlon made something similar.  

I’m not hungry.  But, again, I know how it goes: it takes three days to really get the crap out of your system, before hunger pangs and symptoms of immediate healing crises stop popping up so frequently.  None of those yet, but it’s too soon.

Two confessions: I’m weaning myself off of coffee with one cup today, taken with my last square of Black & Gold’s 85% cacao dark chocolate.  I did resist buying fresh figs (my favorite) at the store today, though, so I feel I’m doing awwright.

Day One Dawns

I’ve fasted before (various ways, namely via juicing and the Master Cleanse), but, this time, I’ve decided to blog about it.  I’m in a strange place in my life, not as stable as I usually feel, and my gut (bigger than usual, I confess) tells me it’s time for a cleansing, renewing fast and a blog to document it and keep my ass in line.  I’ve enjoyed reading about other bloggers’ experiences with fasting, so it’s my hope that this will prove mutually beneficial.

To begin, my life is in total upheaval.  Not a bad thing, but not comfortable, either.  After a major trauma early this year, I’m now licking my wounds, hanging in limbo before I forge ahead in a new place.  At least, that’s how it feels.  I’m staying with family temporarily, for about another month.  I’m the black sheep of the family, and they all think I’m a giant freak.  It was bad when I was a kid (vegetarian, bookish, nerdy but rebellious), but now, in my mid-20’s, it’s worse (mostly raw diet, practice yoga, love living out West, semi-nomadic, don’t wear J. Crew or shop at the Gap, nor do I make mani/pedis–ha, ha–a priority).  My diet is a major part of my life (as it is most people’s, whether they know it or not), and my family eats the same way the did when I was growing up: hot dogs, orange cheese, Heinz ketchup, scotch rocks, Pepsi, Cheez-Its, macaroni and cheese….all things I find totally disgusting (except the scotch, which is another issue, altogether).  There’s other stuff, though, that I can’t resist: fresh doughy bagels and ice cream, for example.  The problem is, it’s making me feel like shit–tired, fat, lethargic, insomniac.  I’m a big believer in the “garbage in, garbage out” theory, and I know I’m still carrying around a lot of post-trauma garbage, from indulgences I used to cope after I was attacked.  I slid back into drinking and smoking–two old, bad, buried habits–and let slip my healthy diet. Bad times.  I’d like them to be over.  I’m READY for them to be over, and to feel good again.  I think a fast is in order, then, to build up my self-control (ah, I once had a will of steel), confidence, clarity (lots of decisions to make, planning to do at this point) and inner cleanliness. If my body is my temple, right now it feels like a desecrated sty.  Someone–ME–needs to clean this shit up.  It’s time.  I’m overdue.  

I left my juicer in storage, far, far away, but this is a freaking emergency: I’m buying another one tomorrow (today, really, now that it’s after midnight). 

My absolute, unwavering promise is to juice for ten days.  I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again.  My GOAL, however, is to juice for 20 days, until the new moon on August 1.  I know, traditionally, this is a suggested/optimal time for fasting, cleansing, and renewal.  I’ll continue to practice Bikram’s yoga 4-5x/wk, per usual, and probably keep up with running, too.  I’ve done this before and have usually felt highly energetic throughout b/c the juice provides plenty of calories and nutrients (all of them yummy and clean, unlike the crap that’s currently lining my sick, twisted colon).  I’ll also research salt water flushes and probably do some other types of colon cleansing, also.  Now, d

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